I am often out on the town, and depending on my mood, I will just sit in a chair and enjoy a drink by myself. But often, I overhear conversations and they fascinate me; on rare occasions, I will request the backstory that led to that current diatribe, and in those instances, I have never been declined.
Tonight was one of those nights, and I got pulled into a world I would never experience; mostly because I am male. Side note: the women of our world fascinate me and their experiences are wildly different from mine. So when I got to hear about a stalker, first hand, I couldn’t turn away. My take away wasn’t that this woman was fearful (she was, let us not diminish the fact that this man was stalking her, and she did have a founded fear about him and verbalized that to me), but she was more concerned about him embarrassing her at her work place.
He followed her to her work place, even after she had called the police and they had become a presence, but he waited in his vehicle until the time was right. Once the police left, he decided to enter where she is employed and assault her in a verbal abuse tirade that led to a strong form of depression. Not only did this affect her but it also impacted the people that where there. She noticed this, and while she was confident that it wouldn’t have been a big deal if she was alone, she found herself despondent because those that were present had to experience a man threatening her life. Embarrassment is the strongest emotion she felt that night, she made this clear, and she never should have to worry about others when her mental and physical state was being assaulted.
So what is the important take away from this interaction? It isn’t simple, there is a lot emotion compacted into the words above and men attacking (whether physical or mental) should not be able to walk away without some punitive measure. But there is something else, something we all can do for our fellow human being… everyone has a shitty day and often there are people who have dealt with issues that you will never experience. So, when they share them with you, do the one thing you can do, listen, and buy them a drink (if you feel the need to give them the cold shoulder, take a moment to reconsider–they may need you).
I hope she never has this happen to her again, because no one should feel embarrassment or fear because of someone else. Enjoy the tequila, lemonade, and cranberry – I wish the drink was shared over a joyous story instead of a depressing experience with a stalker – maybe next time. I appreciate you and your current boyfriend sharing such a deeply traumatic experience with me, and I hope that this one post will help others. That’s the best I can do at this time.