Want Some Cake?
Of course you do. You want to bury your head in a giant pan of delicious frosting and sugary flour. You’re going to tear through each layer, gnawing and munching quickly away from sadness. Yes, cake brings happiness, but you know what doesn’t bring happiness – stupid phrases.
I am focusing my hatred on a simple phrase: Have your cake and eat it too. This is just a shit sentence. Think about it, everything is a progression of time, so when you say Have your cake, you mean you have your cake at that point, then when you say: eat it too – you obviously are going to eat it. Who buys cake and doesn’t eat it? The whole point of having cake is to eat it.
Now, what the people are looking for in this statement is to say you cannot both have the cake and also have eaten it. However, the above sentence doesn’t convey that point. It is a sloppy sentence and means nothing other than the basic reasons to get a cake, to eat it.
Therefore, in order to make us better people, I propose the following: To eat your cake and still have it. Yeah, it isn’t nearly as catchy but it actually makes sense. Theo out!
Read MoreHaiku – On Pickling and Romance
Pickled vegetables
the Farmer labours in the field
scrunched face, sour taste
~Theodore Maestranzi
Taking a Bullet for Someone
John has zero health insurance. He is a good guy, loves life and has two kids. His life is modest, a vacation once a year to Disney World for a week, then a few other weeks off to take care of the kids and stuff around the house. The family cannot eat steak every night, but that isn’t healthy, and John’s wife is a wonderful cook – so chicken, pork, and produce fill their bellies. At the end of the evening, John loves to play cards with his kids, read, and listen to albums. John’s got a pretty sweet life.
Then Tiffany broke into the bank and pointed a gun at you and John. It was surprising how quick John laid down on the ground and slid his gun across the floor. You stood there dumbfounded, but I guess I am surprised by your confusion at John’s actions.
Do you really think a security guard making fifteen dollars an hour is going to lay down his life for you?
Read MoreYou’re Doing it Wrong – Activism
Everyone’s a critic… and no one does anything right… except for me (In this case, me as in whoever is speaking, not me: Theodore Maestranzi). I think that sentence sums up the bulk of humanity. It is grating to accept someone else’s viewpoint/design/project over your own. Our insides boil, our vision blurs, and a deep rumblings of regret bubble into our mind. We try to squash it, but we eventually end up questioning everything. Eventually, we will enter a state of despondency – if lucky – we will rise from that challenge and continue down our path after making valid corrections – more than likely – we will step away from that realm of life and never return. [click “Read More” for more delicious rant]
Read MoreHaiku – Customer Service
A smile, will you bloom?
butterflies flit amidst blossoms
Are you a moon too?
~Theodore Maestranzi
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