Do you hear some music in your head? What about the chorus from a very specific song? I know you can hear it. Perhaps you’re seeing an iconic scene from a film. Or I could be making horribly wrong assumptions and simultaneously showing my age. Unfortunately, I am not here to discuss the song but the phrase; it is a fascinating grouping of two words to review. For the longest time the term: “my girl/boy/guy/lady/wife/husband/significant other” has fascinated me. The reason is simple, it is a possessive statement. The word my implies ownership or possession.
Give me my pencil back. In that sentence, we know who owns the pencil and that they want to have physical ownership of it again. Yet, we prescribe the same language in our communication about human beings. We cannot own human beings (anymore, thank god we sorted that mess out), but we can still be possessive of them. I dislike the concept of imposing my will on others, but I find it incredibly difficult to vocalize or write about a significant other without utilizing possessive terms. So let’s break down some alternative options:
This is my girl. Simultaneously showing ownership and regulating your significant other to the status of a child.
You’re my boy. Was said to me often, the boy part made me cringe and I felt walls closing in around me. Also, this statement may have been what drove me to my deep analysis of the perfect phrase.
This is my lady. We have solved the problem of sounding like a pedaphile and that I am dating a woman, but it is still possessive.
This is my significant other. Yes, we solved the genderization of the term, it sounds way better than calling a 28 year old woman a girl, but it still implies possession.
I am Tiffany’s significant other. Odds are you would have to be performing your own introductions and it would be clumsy, but now you are stipulating you are the possession of your significant other instead of them making the claim.
We’re together. If said in unison is solid and overly cute.
Or if you are a disgusting human, you can always just walk up and blurt out: We’re smushing uglies.