♪♫ My Girl ♫♪
Do you hear some music in your head? What about the chorus from a very specific song? I know you can hear it. Perhaps you’re seeing an iconic scene from a film. Or I could be making horribly wrong assumptions and simultaneously showing my age. Unfortunately, I am not here to discuss the song but the phrase; it is a fascinating grouping of two words to review. For the longest time the term: “my girl/boy/guy/lady/wife/husband/significant other” has fascinated me. The reason is simple, it is a possessive statement. The word my implies ownership or possession.
Give me my pencil back. In that sentence, we know who owns the pencil and that they want to have physical ownership of it again. Yet, we prescribe the same language in our communication about human beings. We cannot own human beings (anymore, thank god we sorted that mess out), but we can still be possessive of them. I dislike the concept of imposing my will on others, but I find it incredibly difficult to vocalize or write about a significant other without utilizing possessive terms. So let’s break down some alternative options:
Buy That Television in Person
In a previous post, I discussed the paradox of decision in regards to shopping online versus in person. Here, I am going to argue that you should shop in person because of the economic ramifications. Now, I feel lot of people think that shopping at mega-corporation’s brick and mortar store is the same as shopping at their online store, but you are wrong (I apologize, but I assume two things: 1) you believe that all the profits go to the corporate headquarters so there is no difference between shopping online or at their in person store as all the money funnels to the same place, 2) the stores would stay open anyway).
Let’s tackle point two first: the store would stay open anyway. No one is going to keep a store open if there isn’t a semblance of profit. Not only that, these companies have some of the profit measuring models in the world. The moment a store stays in the red for an extended period of time, they will close it. Keeping a store open means that they have to pay: utilities, wages, shipping fees, and many other pieces. While, if they are making all the sales in the area online, they can cut that entire cost out and just ship from their distribution center (the place that supplies you your online purchases also supplies the store’s inventory). So no, stores will close and I think most people can see that as we see massive retailers shut down their storefronts and move to online only.
The second assumption was that all the profit goes to a central headquarters. I was tricky here, all the profits do go to a central headquarters but not all the revenue does (revenue is the total sales, profits are what is left over after expenses and all that jazz). So when you buy a television in person, it costs a little more (even though they will often price match online prices). However, the profit margins between an instore and online purchase are vastly different. That single in-store purchase now kept some of the capital of your city in your city (the money gets doled out to the utility company and their employees, the retailer’s employees, the landscapers, everyone in the city that supports that company’s brick and mortar store). So yes, all the profits do go back to the mothership, but an in-store purchase provides less to the company and more to the workers of your city. So buy locally, even buying at a mega-corporation store will provide some benefit to your community (but I suggest you try and find an independent store cause then all your money stays in the area).
Paradox of Decision – Commerce in Person
There is a phenomenon that is solely human (it could exist in other species, but I cannot communicate with my cat so I don’t know if she experiences regret); regret is the outcome that one experiences when they are thrust into the paradox of decision. As humans, we are often given decisions. The paradox of decision focuses on the feelings of satisfaction with a choice. The theory is that the more options you receive, the more likely you are to regret or be less satisfied with what you have chosen. This is a well documented outcome, as choices increase, the decision maker will be less satisfied with what they chose. The example is usually ice cream – if I offer six choices instead of a hundred, then the person is quick to decide and not feel regret as there was only one flavor out of the six that they truly wanted, but if there was a hundred, they may have three choices they would like so they assume they chose poorly after they make their choice. [click “Read More” for more]
Balance of Happiness
In three previous pieces, Squandering Time, Staying Social, and Taking Time Off, I discussed what matters in the world: 1) focusing on bettering yourself and having future goals, going out with people/being social, and just completely vegging out and letting your mind turn to pudding. Now, these weren’t long pieces by any means, but I think they convey enough to help people on their way to being a fully rounded person. As for me, I live my life based on the principle of borrowed time. There are only so many hours in a day, so many days in a week, and so many weeks in a life. As such, I am not willing to squander that time unless I have accomplished something towards my own goals. In the past, my week was structured in a pretty spontaneous way; I never had issues completing tasks before meeting up with friends.
Now, I am not in such a luxurious place. After calculating out my time, with work and what I believe I need to do to be a successful author, I’ve run into a weird deficit where I only get twenty-seven hours of awake time for non-writing activities (I count reading as a writing activity). This is based on getting seven hours of sleep during the week, working eight hours with a forty minute commute (total), and writing forty hours a week. As such, I’ve basically had to cut out television and movies from my life, otherwise, I would never see friends. During a week, I see friends two to three times, and during a weekend maybe once or twice – I drink during the week since I won’t have time to write after hanging with my friends. I get up early, so I can get to work early and leave early, giving me three-four hours a day during the week to write or read (some of that time is now taken up by working out, I was getting a little too pudgy).
So how do I do it? Simple, I try to solve each of the three necessities in a single week. In order to show you how that works, I figure I would break down a normal workday and a weekend day (Sundays have meal prep for the week in them, and every month there is a day devoted to Cleaning/Picking Up/Binge watching Television). [click “Read More” for my basic schedule]
Workday
- Wake up, grind coffee beans, listen to news, make coffee
- Drink coffee, read section of news article (Stay informed, create new ideas, Work to the Future)
- Go to work – bust ass for 8.5 hours
- Get home, lay on bed and let mind rest (Time Off)
- Workout and watch television shows that were recorded (Time Off)
- Write (Work to the Future)
- Go see friends (Be Social)
- Write (Work to the Future)
- Read (Work to the Future)
- Sleep (Survive)
Weekend Day
(lot more variance, but this is pretty solid review of a common weekend)
- Wake up two hours later (sevenish)
- Go to coffee shop, read, drink water
- Write/Edit
- Get the shakes from not eating (Cook a glorious meal, usually around 1 or 2)
- Veg out on TV while digesting
- Drink pot of tea, edit/write
- Drink pot of tea, edit/write
- Get the shakes from caffine, eat to calm nerves
- Go out with friends (rage!)
- Adjust morning wake up based on time in bed
Taking Time Off
In two previous blurbs (Squandering Time and Staying Social) I argue for not wasting time but also not being a hermit. In this little nugget, I am going to talk about taking some damn time off. While life only gets messier as we grow old, I find it is important to not focus 100% on producing or driving towards the future you want. Nor is it good to focus 100% on the present and your social obligations. There needs to be a healthy blend of work and fun. But, there is a third dynamic that needs to be expressed: freedom. This is when you reboot, you avoid friends, you find a tree, and you just think/read/stare at clouds/let your brain cool. So, work hard, play hard, and then enter a state of nothingness for some time. Let your brain turn to mush and watch a dumb television show.
Staying Social
In a previous post about Squandering Time, I focus on how you have to leverage college to pursue a future of creativity (by not squandering your time). I discuss how if you sacrifice fun times that would be full of video games, television, beer, and pizza, you would be able to make huge strides towards a future with creativity (the example is me in my MBA program with writing).
However, an important thing I failed to discuss was the aspect of staying social. You see, I find that my social nature has been a striving aspect in my creativity process. I see mannerisms, things that make people human, and apply those to my stories. Without that influence, every single character would only be capable of mimmicking things that I do. By people watching, I am able to pick up on what a person does in a situation and apply it to my characters to produce a more realistic experience. Furthermore, the creative juices will explode in a social setting versus at home staring at a wall. So yes, don’t squander your time, but don’t isolate yourself so much that you fail to consume reality. Reality is necessary for any good writer.
Squandering Time
Not everyone can go to college, but if you do, I suggest you try any and everything – not talking about drugs or sex here. I am talking about the abundance of time that spontaneously appears when you are in college. This is the one place stage in your life where you can literally stay up as late as you want and work on something/anything till you pass out from exhaustion. I started writing during my bachelors program as a joke. After I graduated and began the nine to five grind, I realized I wanted to do it fulltime. So I chose to go back to get my MBA so I could devote upwards of 40 hours a week into my writing (I accomplished that goal and now have 5 completed manuscripts in my back pocket). So, don’t squander your time…
Marinade or Cancer Cure
In a video someone posted on social media. The following items were listed:
- Turmeric
- Apple Cider Vinegar
- Lemon Rind
- Organic Honey
- Pinch of Black Pepper
Now are these ingredients part of: A) “The Strongest Antibiotic And Anti-Cancer Remedy”, B) “An Organic Lemon Ice Recipe” C) “A Marinade”, or D) “None of the Above”.
If you selected A, you are correct! That’s right, this amalgam of random items is the cancer cure we’ve all been waiting for.* Got Strep Throat and no longer believe in the healing power of Garlic (my previous post on this topic: Antibiotics? Hell No, Grab Some Garlic) jump on the marinade train. You’re welcome readers, I just saved your lives.
*This will not save your life, it will possibly provide you with a delicious marinade or lemon ice recipe if done properly.
Solutions to the Weaponized Internet
Awhile ago, someone mentioned to me that when analyzing problems I was able to provide a tapestry of detail about the issue, but I was depressing them. They further explained that my analysis showed a bleak future and that I offered no solution. In turn, I responded with the fact that my goal as a writer is to display what I see are problems in the world and carefully make you aware of them in an entertaining format. That, I am not a person who can produce a solution, but I am someone who has chosen to be the megaphone to rally the people around the problem, and in doing so, support those that are in a position to produce the solution.
But I did agree, if I had a possible solution, then I should present it. That same person read my previous post (Weaponizing the Internet) and engaged me in discussion to see if I was just ranting and raving or if I had a better model. Now, I sometimes forget where I have ranted and raved about issues – this blog is but a minor glimpse into the world of problems I discuss regularly. Normally, I have solutions floating around in my brain box. So here are some that would shift the way we consume:
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Antibiotics? Hell No, Grab Some Garlic
I have had the pleasure of being raised by a skeptical mother. Throughout my life, I have been told to question what I see on television and never believe what I read on the internet (so don’t trust or believe this post). Furthermore, it is important to acknowledge that being skeptical doesn’t mean you disregard everything that is around you. Being skeptical is questioning the asymmetrical knowledge that permeates all of our lives. To be a true skeptic, you should even question or validate your own knowledge on a regular basis (something most forget to do, including myself).
But with all this questioning, when will I have time to chow on some sausages? Simple, never, but I will give you a quick hint… it is possible to have time for fun without believing everything you see. If it sounds batshit crazy, odds are it is batshit crazy. If you are on a social media site and see something that is wholly unbelievable, don’t believe it (one because it is a social media site and getting you engaged pays their bills, and nothing will engage you more than: Garlicman appears and destroys Godzilla with breath attack). If you go to a blog that is promoting the healing powers of garlic and there are advertisements everywhere for GarlAxe (An axe made out of garlic that you can munch on) you are probably on a website that is promoting garlic to help sell more GarlAxes – they are either lying to you or inflating the results of studies on garlic. [more hidden, click “Read More” for super secret access]