Time, Pain, and Family – I’m Still Alive

Posted by Theodore Maestranzi on Aug 26, 2016 in Blog Posts | 0 comments

I know it has been sometime since I last posted, but I have had to rearrange my priorities and posting here is low on the list.  I’ve mentioned this in the past, but the website is the last priority when it comes to writing.  With work taking up 40-50 hours a week, I have to look at what will help me excel and achieve what is most important to me: becoming a full time writer.  In order to do that, I need to read, write, and edit.  My goal for each week is to read or write for forty hours.  I have fallen short on that goal because summer hits like a giant unproductive hammer.

During summer, I focus heavily on spending time with my family and friends.  This is healthy for me, but bad for my dream as I cannot write when I am with my family or friends because I am there to spend time with them.  So I burn the candle on both ends.  Which led me to burning out and entering a state of low productivity.

Then, add in the fact that I was typing upwards of sixty hours a week (between work and fiction writing), and I end up with a consistent pain in my forearm which is a flare up of tendentious and carpel tunnel from rock climbing.  As I am typing this, I stopped work on a short story and novella (manuscript 7 is still being outlined and has been bumped to manuscript 8 because a different short story got too long and is now considered manuscript 7); I stopped writing because the pain was flaring up and keeping me from getting into my groove where the world ceases to exist and I live in what I’ve created.  After a couple of sentences I have to take a break and stretch my left arm so I can type a little more.  This leads to disjunctive writing, which is fine for a post, but horrible for a cohesive story.

The ramifications from not being able to write as much as I want has sent me into a positive feedback loop where I keep spiraling further and further from what makes me happy.  But, I keep plugging away and swimming for the surface, and I think I can see the shimmering waves above me (it’s called Fall or Autumn (if you are pretentious)).  I’ve begun to go back to the basics in order to leave this lack of writing behind: journal writing, reading non-fiction, and day dreaming in the worlds I’ve created.

So, I am alive, I am writing (albeit not as much as I want to), and I have a bunch of half-finished posts I will flesh out over the next couple of weeks so there is more activity here.  I’ll also talk a little more about manuscript 8 (this was manuscript 7) and the new manuscript 7.

How About Some Drinks

Posted by Theodore Maestranzi on Jun 21, 2016 in Blog Posts | 0 comments

I am often out on the town, and depending on my mood, I will just sit in a chair and enjoy a drink by myself.  But often, I overhear conversations and they fascinate me; on rare occasions, I will request the backstory that led to that current diatribe, and in those instances, I have never been declined.

Tonight was one of those nights, and I got pulled into a world I would never experience; mostly because I am male.  Side note: the women of our world fascinate me and their experiences are wildly different from mine.  So when I got to hear about a stalker, first hand, I couldn’t turn away.  My take away wasn’t that this woman was fearful (she was, let us not diminish the fact that this man was stalking her, and she did have a founded fear about him and verbalized that to me), but she was more concerned about him embarrassing her at her work place.

He followed her to her work place, even after she had called the police and they had become a presence, but he waited in his vehicle until the time was right.  Once the police left, he decided to enter where she is employed and assault her in a verbal abuse tirade that led to a strong form of depression.  Not only did this affect her but it also impacted the people that where there.  She noticed this, and while she was confident that it wouldn’t have been a big deal if she was alone, she found herself despondent because those that were present had to experience a man threatening her life.  Embarrassment is the strongest emotion she felt that night, she made this clear, and she never should have to worry about others when her mental and physical state was being assaulted.

So what is the important take away from this interaction?  It isn’t simple, there is a lot emotion compacted into the words above and men attacking (whether physical or mental) should not be able to walk away without some punitive measure.  But there is something else, something we all can do for our fellow human being… everyone has a shitty day and often there are people who have dealt with issues that you will never experience.  So, when they share them with you, do the one thing you can do, listen, and buy them a drink (if you feel the need to give them the cold shoulder, take a moment to reconsider–they may need you).

I hope she never has this happen to her again, because no one should feel embarrassment or fear because of someone else.  Enjoy the tequila, lemonade, and cranberry – I wish the drink was shared over a joyous story instead of a depressing experience with a stalker – maybe next time.  I appreciate you and your current boyfriend sharing such a deeply traumatic experience with me, and I hope that this one post will help others.  That’s the best I can do at this time.

Manuscript 7 – Not Even a Working Title

Posted by Theodore Maestranzi on May 13, 2016 in Blog Posts | 0 comments

If you are paying attention to the posts, you will notice the time between the previous post and this post are within an hour.  That’s because I had two topics to discuss!  You’ll also notice… that this is the announcement of my newest project – the seventh manuscript.  Now many would say, “Finish Bohr’s Bathos, then start a new project!”  Well, I don’t work that way.  When I finish a manuscript, I will read through it twice while performing edits, then I will print it, and put it in a filing cabinet.  During those two editing sessions, I will begin the process of outlining my newest project.  Once done with the edits, I will begin writing the new project.  After some time has passed, I will open the cabinet and do a read through of an older manuscript (not the most recent, which is Bohr’s Bathos in this case).  Then, I will put that one away and keep working on the newest manuscript.  At sometime, I will open the cabinet and begin a detailed revision of the most recently completed manuscript (in this case Bohr’s Bathos).  I do this so I get away from that piece.  I let my mind forget what I had written, where I had lived, and try to read it as someone who knows nothing about the work.  Then it goes away again while I work on the newest manuscript.

Man am I excited!  I came up with this manuscript’s base world and main characters about two months ago.  I wrote the kernel down, fleshed out the idea a little, and over time fantasized myself alongside the characters.  Each time I went there, I learned more and studied the people I would be writing about.  I twisted their souls and minds.  They reacted and I jotted down the different responses.  Soon, I discovered who would be my main character.  I tinkered with the structure in the shower and ran out naked and dripping wet to write down what I concluded.  The hazy began to form into objects and I knew it was close.  But, I don’t start a new project till the previous one is done, and so I kept moving forward on Bohr’s Bathos.  Now, with that manuscript completed, I get to go back to that world, pour over the notes, think of new pathways, develop the major outline, and build the supporting cast.  It will be a fun month!

Bohr’s Bathos – First Draft Completed

Posted by Theodore Maestranzi on May 13, 2016 in Blog Posts, Bohr's Bathos | 0 comments

In the last two weeks, I’ve had zero time to write as I’ve been working on different projects/obligations.  Knowing that there was a predestine slump, I had pushed hard on myself to complete Bohr’s Bathos before I was drawn into life.  I did well, but I didn’t finish the manuscript in time to avoid the two week hiatus.  I ended up with the final three chapters staring at me as I moved in and out of my office.  Just sitting there, on my desk, was my notebook with the completed outlines staring at me and begging to be turned into words on a page.  So today, after a long week of work, I made a pot of tea, drank a coffee, and cranked away.  As always when finishing a manuscript, I slowed as each period took me closer to completing this project.  Each sentence leading me to an ending that I didn’t want to happen – not the real ending in the piece but the end of writing this manuscript.  It will have revisions, edits, and maybe some additions, but I know the story is complete.

So the first draft comes in at a whopping: 106,724 words.  My second longest manuscript (though not even close to my longest – off by about 20,000 words).

Accepting Corrections

Posted by Theodore Maestranzi on May 3, 2016 in Blog Posts | 0 comments

An ambiguous post (When You Cannot Take the Road Less Traveled) led to someone contacting me and criticizing my heavy handed writing on the topic of STEM.  I am always open to someone contacting me, especially, when they think that I’ve crossed a line.  To be fair, the person didn’t think that I had crossed a line, but thought, I had misrepresented a group of people who truly enjoy STEM and working in those fields.  They thought I had been condescending and didn’t represent the people who had chosen that pathway, because they wanted to go into a STEM field.  Rereading that post, I agree with them.

Originally, I had wanted to argue that the emphasis and incentives surrounding a STEM education could lead people who didn’t want to be in that field to that line of work.  I wanted to portray the fact that STEM’s monetary incentives could lead someone to making a choice against what they actually wanted to do.  Yes, I agree that underrepresented individuals deserve opportunities to pursue high paying careers in STEM.  But by making STEM programs cheaper, better funded, and more prevalent than other programs, we as a society are choking off culture and humanities.

However, I sometimes feel that many people make the choice to go into STEM not because they want to, but because, it is lucrative and well funded.  They throw their dreams to the wayside because a pathway to a career has opened up to them and the uncertainty that surrounds their life is solved by these incentive programs.  So, I don’t dislike STEM, I dislike incentive programs because I feel they pray on individuals who want stability in their life or a cheaper degree.

In the end, that post doesn’t portray my feelings properly and it is hard for me to write about the topic as I am conflicted.  The take away here is this: If you have a disagreement with what I’ve said or posted, contact me, I am more than willing to speak with you in a civilized discourse and will take your words to heart.

Concerns of Alienation

Posted by Theodore Maestranzi on Apr 28, 2016 in Blog Posts | 0 comments

On of my top fears when I am writing a piece is having it misinterpreted.  With public shaming so prevalent and capable, I am cautious releasing my weird mind into the world.  I tend to sit in the middle of many issues and when I write I am exploring an issue or trying to understand it in a very blunt and focused way (it can come off as closed minded).  So, when I look at something like STEM, I know that it is beneficial to under serviced populations when the barriers are lessened.  I agree with making it easier for under represented demographics to get an assisting hand from various directions because society is based on the past.  If you have 100,000 dollars in 1990, and you invest and grow it and then pass that to your family that is your right, but I also understand that the process creates a barrier to others.  Since the past was uneven, it is responsible to smooth the conditions in the present.

Business and Social Responsibility

Posted by Theodore Maestranzi on Apr 18, 2016 in Blog Posts | 0 comments

Regularly, there are news articles about how corporations have pulled funding from something for some reason, and usually, it is to be socially responsible – actually it is to keep us from boycotting them.  Now when endorsements for a racist disappear, the reason can vary, but honestly, businesses don’t do this to be social responsible.  It is in their interests to be viewed in a favorable light and keep us from screaming at them.  Some of these decisions can be a knee jerk reaction to get ahead of an issue that is coming down the line, but I have seen small businesses do the same thing but on a smaller scale.  The interesting thing about a small business, if you frequent the same ones regularly like I do, you know their personal views on many social issues.  Which leads to an interesting juxtaposition of a person’s view point, keeping their kids fed, and the doors open.