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Like Laika
A blink there, a dancing needle here, a switch over there, and of course, the occasional bleeps. Some would say that was me, but I was so much more. To be honest, I never really cared for my mission but it has gotten better. Luckily, I don’t have a nose, otherwise, I would...
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Better than a Ream of Paper
Clickity-clack, the hammers press through the thin black ribbon and deposit an imperfect letter against the interwoven fibers. In a moment, a world begins to form from the displacement of ink throughout the paper. The letters are malformed and off-center at times, but he...
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Frank’s Slipstream
Undertow ho! Dodge to the left dodge to the right! It doesn’t really matter which way he goes, it’s going to snag him, undertow always snatches and drags people. To be honest, it is negligible, because he has been swimming for so long… oh so long. But he is really good at it,...
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"Be kind"
"We're all afloat in a turd soup."
Why Reviews are Garbage – Part 2 of N
I am back and I figured I would begin by focusing on an old series I had not updated in awhile: Why Reviews are Garbage – Part 1 of N. Since I initially began the process of outlining how this topic (Reviews being Garbage), I had a good friend visit me to do a writers workshop. During that visit, we took the time to “spiritually” debate some topics. Now, if you haven’t figured it out yet, I debate like an asshole. Since I had begun the preparation for this series before he had arrived, but we somehow got to the topic of reviews, and I began utilizing my research as part of our discussion. The reason I am beginning with this little story is to show that these arguments have been tested in a whimsical three hour debate. One of the first pieces we discussed was the concept of a corporation buying reviews. [Click “Read More” for 1800 words of critical analysis]
Read MoreNew Phone Who Dis?
So, I am breaking my rules here around advertisements because it is a personal story and I have no other way to discuss cellphones without using brand names. Luckily… my endorsement is for a cell phone manufacturer that is no longer in the business. [Click “Read More” to watch me swoon over a phone manufacturer and discuss my strategy for removing social media from my life]
Read MoreOh Look… a Saddle
I guess I’ll hop back onto the saddle. At the end of June, I finalized a deal for a home. While doing that, I was working my way through some of the heaviest volume of work I’ve had in a long time (normal job, not writing). So with 10 to 12 hour days, I moved, hung drywall, stripped paint, sealed my deck, ran new circuits, wired outlets, hardwired my entire home with ethernet, and performed various other activities around the house. As of today, I can say life is pretty stable (but I still don’t have a living room). In that time, a buddy took a week to visit me for a mini writers workshop. I wrote for the first time in a month or two and put down a solid 8,000 words in my 9th manuscript (manuscript 8 is on hold due to complexity). So, with all of the dust settling and work moving to a normal level, I am going to begin the process of getting back into the swing of things. I keep adding in activities, and as of now, I am up to working out most of the week, cooking healthy, and reading everyday. The next pieces I need to stabilize my life is practicing my Italian and writing. The goal is to have Manuscript 9 done by the end of this year and start working on manuscript 8 again before 2019. So, expect a lot more blog posts in the coming months… I think I am back.
~Theodore
Read MoreLike a Ton of Bricks
I haven’t written in a significant amount of time… there are some major life changes going on and I each day I think the dust is going to settle and it doesn’t. I’ve started a weekly review with a good friend and wonderful writer, but I am barely keep my head above the water. I’ll update hopefully later this weekend/get back into the swing of things soon. I need my house in order before I get back to writing. Everything is fine, do not be alarmed, I am just focusing on stabilizing the major pieces of my life.
Read MoreOn Coffee Shops – Haiku
So, I went out for my morning coffee and conversation with my friend who is a barista. It is a normal ritual and it gets me up and out of the home at a normal hour. There is a risk that he will get busy and I won’t be able to get into a deep debate on the productivity of the Death Star or how one would measure productivity of a Death Star (fuel burn per planet destroyed, but I will write that up later). Today was one of those days, so while I am sitting at the bank waiting to get a letter, I decided to write up some of my haikus from the morning.
a line of ants march
one by one, step by step – go
Barista, no break
~Theodore Maestranzi
Alternative Take
a line of ants march
over leaves/sticks… But not in rain
Barista, no break
~Theodore Maestranzi
Read MoreSmall Questions – Young Adult
It is kind of insane that we have different age groups broken up by key identifiers. Like a tiny human that can walk and talk, but kind of walks around like a drunk, is a toddler. While a newborn is human who is fresh to the world and covered in that womb smell (new baby). While a few arbitrary measures of time (days/weeks/months) later that newborn transforms into an infant. So on and so on.
So for the first 18 years of life, humans are sliced and diced into categories based on age – newborn, toddler, kindergartener, middle schooler, teenager, young adult. I probably missed some.
Now, I know that this because we experience the greatest level of growth in those first 18 years. But it kind of sucks as an adult who is young, that I can’t call myself a young adult. Instead we have to call ourselves by our age bracket: twenties, thirties, forties, fifties… ageless… elderly.
So my small question: Why don’t I get to call myself a young adult? Who makes these arbitrary rules?
Theodore, just asking the hard questions.
Read MoreX2? Fuck you! – An Analysis of Regret
After brutal day work today, I wanted to let my brain relax so I did what any adult who is young would do – turn on some Mahler and stare at an absurdly large clock on the wall (JOKES… I am actually an eighty year old German farmer living in New Zealand (I am not)). Because I am weird, I do this boredom break for fun. Traditionally, instead of enjoying the clock on the wall, I would actually be staring at the weird brown stain that goes across the ceiling in my living room, but I am visiting family today (by the way, that stain in my living room is a constant confusion and has led to wonderful discussions). In general, boredom time is a structured event where the only thing I can do, other than think, is listen to music. As such, my brain gets to jump through some interest thoughts… like: infinite regret of day dreaming about real events.
So, without further introduction, let’s dive into pure sadness! To be fair, some of these concepts are close to Bergson’s view on hope and how one shouldn’t have it– fun stuff, right! Either way, the concept is simple but it is easier with an example. So, just like at work, let’s define a scenario. [Click “Read More” to find out if I am actually a German farmer]
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